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When I came out to my Russian mother, she shook her head and attempted to ignore my homosexuality for nearly a year.

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This month, when russian lesbian left together for a cross-Atlantic flight to Russia to visit our relatives, she didn't warn me about. Russia has always been conservative and homophobic, but in recent years this has gone from relatives disapproving of homosexuality to the government taking one of the most intense anti-gay stances in the world.

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I'm currently staying lesgian my grandparents in a small village in southeastern Russia with a population of less than When I was a kid, I would come visit for a month every summer, but the older I get, russian lesbian more boring this place is, so I visit Russia less. The last time I was here, I was 17, and not out russian lesbian.

russian lesbian This country is built on old-fashioned Orthodox Christian values and the beliefs of the Soviet Union. Lenin statues still grace almost every town square.

He shows me his graffiti and steals plums for me; sometimes I give him Canadian coins as a novelty. At our respective home, we russian lesbian nude massage parlor listening to Russian-skewed international news coverage and updates on Putin's lesbiwn agenda.

My cousin doesn't like Putin, but he doesn't like russian lesbian gays.

Besides making me worried about my safety, my secret has also stressed my relationship with my aunt, among other family members. It had rudsian my first wedding, and I sat at a table with my cousin's friends. Russian lesbian spent the second half of the event listening to the guys make lesbiqn about femme gay dudes. She told me that when I get married and have my own wedding, it can russian lesbian like my cousin's ceremony.

A real Russian wedding. I nodded, faked a laugh, and russian lesbian accidentally choked on my own forced chuckle. But I do have a partner.

russian lesbian So I am forced into silence, for russian lesbian sake and my family's safety. I feel powerless—no matter how much I want to speak out, I can't. I have heard about the protests in Moscow, and I keep seeing Twitter exploding with hatred for Russia, calling for boycotts against Russian vodka and the Winter Olympics.

Although russian lesbian loyalties lie with the persecuted, I disagree with the attempts to boycott Russian vodka. Also, I am a Russian citizen who holds a Russian passport; if I protest or am found guilty of any of the vague anti-gay laws here, I could be detained for up to russian lesbian days or fined. These are my people—on both sides.

A few days ago, my aunt gave me this Russian lesbian keychain. It's hard to look at its cute rabbit mascot.

Am I putting on a keychain or am I a hypocrite? I already knew.

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